The Big 30!

So Saturday marked the big one…30! Lots of folks have been asking how it makes me feel - this milestone. I am not really sure. I don’t feel that old. I think the most troubling thing has been all the grey hairs that I am noticing of late. I have been trying to think back to when I first noticed my mom going grey. I don’t remember her being grey this early – of course, maybe that is just because it’s hard to think about being as old as my mom once was. But then, I am a mom now.

All in all, it really just felt like another birthday…another day. I used to get so excited about birthdays (literally counting down the days in anticipation) – it seems like the last few have just been dulled to the status of “just another day.” And, I am okay with that.

I feel like you get to a certain point and certain things that did matter, somehow don’t anymore. When I find myself shopping now, I seem to spend more time looking for things for Kendall than for me. When asked to make a Christmas list, I am much more hard pressed to think of things to put on the list…and, it seems those that do make the list are appliances, or dishes, or gift cards. It is weird how things change - how perspectives change.

As much as I think my outlook has changed, I also struggle with the thought that I don’t want to loose myself either. I mean I love being a mom now!…but, what about my other titles of wife, women, friend...where is the balance between sweat pants and wiping your child’s nose on your shirt (for fear you can’t get to a Kleenex in time) to still wanting that pair of fun high heeled boots (while wondering – will I really wear these?) and considering a fun new hair cut…maybe even some color to cover up that grey?

Even with these thoughts, I have to say – if this is all I have to worry about than 1) I am extremely lucky, and 2) maybe 30 isn’t that bad. I mean I have a good job, an okay husband (just kidding), a great family, a beautiful daughter, a house, a way to get from here to there, my health, good friends, my graying hair, and not a whole lot to complain about. Yeah, 30 isn’t bad…I might even say that 30 is good – I mean I certainly didn’t have this all when I was 20. Yup, I’m in a good place and have a lot to look forward to. So cheers!