Half full--But filled up.

It's been awhile since the last post. It's also been awhile since I posted something of substance rather than just an update. So here goes...and let me first say that this is what comes from hanging out in a quiet house by yourself when you clearly aren't used to it.

I am a glass half empty kinda gal. I know that I shouldn't admit that, but there you have it. Don't get me wrong I have A LOT to be thankful for - and I am. It is just that for whatever reason when I find myself in a situation where I can either assume the worst or look at the bright side of things, I tend to assume/prepare for the worst. This became clear to me via a conversation with my husband. You see, he was due to leave Thursday for a trip home to MI. His flight was delayed, delayed again, and ultimately cancelled. The flight was rescheduled for the crack of dawn this morning. Rather than focus on the positive - one more night together, I focused on the fact that I had to pack up both girls to go get him, spend money on a dinner out that we shouldn't have, and that I would again have to pack up both girls in the morning to get him back to the airport (on account of a taxi and parking being way too much to warrant spending). Needless to say we spend the night bickering.

Then today I was out shopping - waiting for the inevitable melt down since they got up so early, when my boss calls and asks me to come in and sign some paperwork. Mind you this is paperwork that COULD ultimately work out very well for me. So I go in and the girls manage to keep it together. Can I enjoy the fact that this is likely promising? No, I think "I will believe it when I see it." I am a glass half empty gal.

Aaron has pointed this out to me - which I guess has got me thinking - and writing. I cannot help it. I don't think I am a downer - I don't always expect the worst - I think I just choose to consider the reality of a situation. Point being, I am okay with this realization.

I guess I should make an effort to be more optimistic - I mean I do have a lot to be thankful for. I have a lot going for me. I just worry that any deliberate attempt to see the world through rose colored glasses would be a little like a New Year's Resolution - it would last for awhile and then fall to the wayside.

What I do know is that I do need to be more mindful of everything I do have and relish in it all everyday. I don't have to look very far to see this...one little chuckle from Avery, one funny comment from Kendall, one glance around my house and I can see I have it pretty darn good. Speaking of kids, quick side bar update:

I think I have discovered how to make Avery laugh on command - one tickle under the chin does it every time. She is sitting up on her own. She can turn in a circle on her belly to get her toys. No teeth yet. She has acquired her dad's sweat glands. She studies things so hard - I can tell she is going to be both inquisitive and persistent. She is generally happy.

Kendall is all 2! She has started to stutter a bit because you can tell her mind is working 10 tens as fast as she can formulate words. She surprises us everyday with something new. The other day it was that she can count to 14 - who knew she had learned anything past 10. Today I asked her for help carrying things and she looks at me and says, "No, I am busy" (not doing a thing). She has discovered Cinderella and she thoroughly enjoys it. She is so serious when the mean sisters rip her dress. She is so cute when she sings, "bibbity, bobbity, boo." She makes me happy in the sense that she truly believes in Fairy God Mothers and mice that can sing and dance. I think she is scared of the dark. She LOVES her baby Avery. She could eat peanut butter and jelly everyday. She is sensitive and empathetic in that she doesn't like for anyone to yell, be treated badly, or to be scolded. She stills sucks her thumb and rubs her eyebrow. She gives the best hugs and pats to the back.

So back to the rant...so while I accept that I am a realist. I also accept that I am pretty darn lucky. That I can't have it all, but that I do have a lot. I also know that I need to always strive to find the appropriate balance between home and work, love and hate, kids and marriage, mom and me, persistence and compromise, black and white, empty and full. So...Cheers, drink up!